Episode IV: The Hand

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ARCHIVIST


Anonymous statement regarding the disappearance of a boyfriend. Original statement given by letter addressed to the "Magus Intisuit", September June 19th, 2012. Audio recording by Jonathan Simps, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins:

ARCHIVIST (Statement)


My boyfriend and me go out to drive under moonlight. We stop at on at a side of road. He turn to me and say:

"Baby, I love you very much."

"What is it honey?"

"Our car is broken down. I think the engine is broken, I'll walk and get some more fuel."

"Ok. I'll stay here and look after our stereo. There have been news report of steres being stolen."

"Good idea. Keep the doors locked no matter what. I love you sweaty."

So my boyfriend left to get full for the car.

After two hours I say "Where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now."

Then I here a scratching sound and a voice say "LET ME IN"

I doesn't do it and then after a while I goes to sleep. The next morning I wakes up and finds my boyfriend still not there. I gets out to check and man door hand hook car door.

ARCHIVIST

Statement ends.

As is hopefully evident - this was not written by archive staff as none, except maybe Martin, would have quite this low a literacy level. Though perhaps I should not be cruel, as English may not be the author's first language.

Since then it seems like this letter somehow made its way online via a forum known as 4chan as can be found via Know Your Meme Dot Com - presumably posted there by the original author. Taking a quick look, it seems like the rest of 4chan is...  

[MOUSE CLICK]

... fuck me. I rescind any benefit of the doubt and reserve the right to fully judge the author accordingly.

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