Episode II: You Live Like This?

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ARCHIVIST

Statement of Eric Stirge, regarding a reverse break-in. Original statement given as an online post January 15th, 2016. Audio recording by Jonathan Simps, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins:

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

So I heard this story second-hand, many years ago, but the gist was that a friend of a friend lived in what was generally considered a bad neighborhood, because he was a super poor college student and it was what he could afford. 

He didn't have any furniture, he just slept on a blanket on the floor and had a milk crate for a chair and like an old wire spool as a table. No TV, nothing in the fridge, no microwave, basically just bare walls and a roof to keep the weather off. 

So one day he comes home, and there's a man in his apartment, just standing there, with this look of utter amazement and horror on his face, and he turns to the guy who's just entered and says, "This your place? 'cause I broke in to rob you, but shit, man, you ain't got nothin'. Wait here, I'm'a be right back." 

And the burglar left, leaving a puzzled college student alone in his empty apartment. But sure enough, the burglar came back a while later, and brought some friends, and they delivered a table, a couple of chairs, and a small TV. "I think I got you a bed, too, but that might take a couple days." 

So, the poor college student made some friends. And he didn't ask where they got the stuff. 

ARCHIVIST

Statement ends.

It looks like my corralling Martin into finding statements on a few of the more meme-savvy subreddits appealing for statements has worked. Expecting random members of the public to give us statements in person seems rather inefficient in the modern era - perhaps it is time for the Archives to digitise further. And with how much Martin uses his phone while he should be working, it is good to give him something useful to do with it.

This statement seems less outwardly frightening than others, but there is something unsettling about kindness due to pity - I guess it is when we are truly seen. This particular post seems to have been circulating the internet for a while now, and Martin was unable to track down the original post or posters. I suppose this example from R Slash One Nine Six is as good as any other.

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